7 months- It's getting harder
7 months to some people might be not a long time. But someone who has lost a love one/ spouse it's a long long time. It has been 5110.006 hours, 306600.336 minutes & 18396020.2 seconds. I have tried my best to remember your voice. With help of my emotional support frog- yes ma'am. And the smell of your deodorant- yes ma'am- a stick of it sitting beside my bed.
I have definitely step of my box. I know I had told you that I wanted a tattoo for the 4 generations of Holt's. And I also mentioned that I wanted a memory tattoo for Uncle Johnny. You told me to go for it. The I decided to do something in memory of you. Everytime I look at it. I feel like you are here with me.
We have helped each other , both Kaleb and I. Kaleb has definitely stepped up. Since Dad is dealing with this health issue. Everytime we are at the hospital I feel your presence. It's like you are either standing at the curtain or right beside the bed. Timmy with Dad having his aorta valve replacement surgery on Tuesday, it will be scary. But I know he has to have it done. So he can be better for the Burlington Christmas Parade to be the Grand Marshall. Just please place your hands on Dad, the doctors and everyone that will be helping out.
So my emotional, mental, social & physical status- all stink.
My emotional status has been like a light switch. Which I know is normal for someone in my situation.
My mental status is about the same. I have people who have been challenging me to do or try different things.
My physical status is not good. I have been going to the doctors, taking my medicine, eating and drinking plenty of water. I also have been trying my best to get out of the house more.
My social status/ interaction- STINKS. I have tried to invite people to go & get a bite to eat. But 1) the person told me to leave them alone & 2) the person never even responded back. So I guess I'm not even going to try again.
But one thing, I am scared of right now is alone time. I'm tired of being lonely. But I'm trying.
I MISS YOU, TIMMY! LOVE YOU!!
Please continue to pray for us as we are going through these things.