A long week

 

A long week

     It has been a very long week and it's not even the weekend, yet.  I have been anxious about different things that have happened to me.  I mean it's been that I almost had a anxiety attack which has never happened.  My heart rate was as high as 130.  Yeah, and it freaked me out.  But, I recovered.

     On top of that it was a short week at work.  Only 3 days.  And a holiday in the week, too.   I would like to say that I am thankful for my family, & friends. I'm thankful that I have a home, food, & clothing.  Because a couple of years ago, I only had the food & clothing.  But no place to live.  And I still thank God every day that we have a place to live. 

     I would like to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving.

Wide awake - Figuring things out

 Wide awake

     Here it is late on a Saturday night.  Yes, it is passed my bedtime.  I'm listening to my favorite Music Group - Home Free.  It's not even relaxing me.  I am so wound up, it sucks.  Also, I am just a venting.

     Something is bothering me or something is weighing heavy on my heart.  I don't know what to do.  You try to do something for someone & I guess they like it or not.  I mean it's the thought that counts.  You are only one flipping person who can only do so much.  With the supplies and budget that you have.

     I have always felt like, I didn't fit in anywhere.  I felt like that growing up & now I do, too.  I thought if I had several different types of social media.  I would be able to have that group of people that I could talk to about things.  However, I guess I was wrong.

     I am just FRUSTRATED!  I REALLY DON'T KNOW  IF I AM MAKING ANY SENSE.  

    I am sorry if I am not making any sense.  This is how my brain is when I am in one of my moods.  I just start throwing things around in my head.  And I want relax, until I get it out.

     Please pray for me as I figure things out.

Big Milestone

Big Milestone

     Some people may say that I am losing weight constantly.  However, I see little change.  I have noticed it in my pants size.  Only by very little.  I spoke with Mrs. Kristy today.  I gave her my weight and measurements.  She  said, Christy you have lost 30 lbs & 63+ inches in less than 4 months.  

     I asked her if that was good or what?  She responded, "That's fantastic!"  I explained the reason I was asking was sometimes I have trouble believing that is the way I look.  I guess because of how back when I was bullied in school.  And since then I have not looked at myself the same way. Then I asked Kristy, if some people could have PTSD for people bullying and picking on them so long?  She said, "That makes complete sense!"   I guess that is the reason,  started this blog.

     The reason, I asked was that I have always been big or overweight.  And since I have been doing this since Aug 3, visually I can't tell.  I have a more than over 126+ lbs to go.  I am determined to get there, even being injured.  

     I also think that I still am referring to the October 2018 blog.  About when I told everyone everything about how I was treated in Elementary, Middle and high school.  When someone, ask how I am feeling or how do I look?  I always somehow try to change the subject. Because I really don't feel like talking about it.

     So, the first picture is so true right now.  I know I need to talk about it.  However it will be a long time talking to some one verbally.  However, I can put it more on paper and computer.  I guess the reason I do this is so I want have to look at anyone in the eyes.  

Please continue to pray for me as I continue on this journey.

And I want to thank each and everyone that has supported me.

Love each and everyone of you guys!