Realizing when I was seen
Many people know about how I was verbally bullied in school. I was trying to be invisible & not to be seen. But apparently Timmy saw me & all my flaws. Everytime in passing when I saw Timmy, we hugged & I felt so safe with him. Then we would part out ways.
Then in passing again. We would hug & he would not let me go. I felt so safe like nothing was wrong or going on in my life at that time. When he proposed to me, I knew I would be scared & safe at the same time.
Not understanding what was getting ready to happen. But I knew one thing, when Timmy was around I knew I would be safe & seen. He always told me that he loved the way I looked. Mentally, I couldn't comprehend that because of all I went through when I was younger. Timmy knew exactly what to say.
But when his incident happened, I lost my safe person & I lost my person who seen me. Now I have to work on that & it has been really hard.
A couple of friends have given me hugs. But it slightly helped.
Since Timmy’s passing, I have had trouble looking at myself in the mirror to be seen. That also has been really hard lately, too.
It has been 27 months since I have been seen & safe.
27 months- 2 years & 3 months
27 months- 823 days
27 months- 117.322 weeks
27 months- 19710.022 hours
27 months- 1182601.3 minutes
27 months- 70956077.8 seconds
Please continue to pray for me as i try to figure things out.
