First of all, when someone ask how you are doing? Do want the short version or the long version? The short version is that I am so-so. The long version is - I have no down time- Caregiver of my mother in law, Mom & Dad. Also, I have Kaleb. I am working a full-time job and a part-time job (1/2 the year). I am not a spring chicken. I am mentally &physically falling apart.
Second of all, the emotional side. Lately I have been trying to change things by seeing a therapist. It has worked. But other days, its harder to express how I am feeling. Sometimes I can talk to someone & I am good. But it's the times when I can't find the words & I just want to sit by myself & just cry it out. And when you break down, you have no one to console you. Or to tell you that it is okay to cry, yell or beat the crap out of something.
Third of all, the mental side. As many of you know my background- verbally bullied in school - which in turn being diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety and depression. Currently added to the list- social anxiety, brain fog, widows fog. Then you have to worry about the financial issues- are you going to have enough money to pay bills? Working your tail off paycheck to paycheck.
Fourth of all, the social side. People invite you out to do things, but instead either you decline or they don't even follow through. The reason you decline is because you don't physically want to go or you just want to be by yourself. But you know you need to get out. I have had a lot of plenty of people invite me out for a bite & I haven't heard from any of them again.
