25 months- seems like yesterday
25 months- 108.631 weeks
25 months- 760.418 days
25 months- 18250.02 hours
25 months- 1095726.6 minutes
25 months- 65743595.8 seconds
25 months ago, it seems to be a long time. But it actually to me seems like yesterday that you were right in front of me & we were going back & forth whether to call 911 or not. It's hard to love someone/ spouse when they are sick, injured or just don't feel good. Just imagine that times 100++++++++. When you lose your spouse, you lose your weekend helper to clean house or mow the yard, you lose the other half of your income, you lose your helper to run errands & other things that couples do.
Right now, all of those have been a struggle for me right now. Yes, there is 3 other people who live in the same house. But 2 if them are disabled & the other 1 is working a job to help out. But it's hard for me to have the energy that I need to begin to do my house hold duties. Both inside and outside. I have no energy what so ever.
When I get home, all I wanna do is change into my pajamas & lay in the bed. Well, is can't do that. When I get home, it cook supper, do what I can around the house, & then I run errands for the mother in law. Then I can get my pajamas on. This is almost every day. I want even get started about the weekends. Yeah!!!! Nope!!!!!
Ever since Timmy’s incident- I have been nonstop. It has been rough to slow down & take some time for me. Because when I want to take some me time. Someone always needs something. I try to put it off. But, they want it now & until they get it. They will bug the crap out of me.
The weekends- I get up do breakfast, try to cleanup, or mow the yard- run errand/ groceries if needed. Lunch- then supper. I am so burnt out. It scares me sometimes to explain what the heck is going on in my head.
For someone who is grieving being burnt out is - not wanting to do anything, laying around, not wanting to talk to anyone & just being a lonesome body. When people reach out to see if I am okay. Sometimes I read their messages & respond back & other times I don't respond back. It's hard for me to say leave me alone. Or don't mess with me. Normally, when I respond back to that person, they already know somethings up. Or that I am in a rough mood.
Please continue to pray for us as we figure everything out.
