21 months

 21 months 

     In the last 21 months, I have learned how to push forward even if I didn't want to. I have to get out of bed & continue with my day.  I have learned some techniques on how to explain what is going on inside my head & my emotions.   But, I know people could careless about what i have to say.  But, I will continue to honor Timmy with everything I have.  

     There is one thing that I don't like is the word Widow.  I am a survivor.   I am a I guess you can say a Rockstar.   But I don't feel like it. I am so tired, overwhelmed and not doing anything extra except what is on my schedule.  I have always had to favorite sayings.   1, is you got this. 2. Is never give up. 

     When people tell me that, they don't know how I do it.  It's something that Timmy showed me.  To always be kind & help out.  I guess that is the reason, its hard for me to say no.  Because in my mind, I have to stay busy.  

21 months = 91.25 weeks 

21 months = 638.751 days

21 months = 15330.017 hours 

21 months = 919801.008 minutes 

21 months  = 55188060.5 seconds 

Since I heard your voice, seen you walk in the door, & held your hand.   

Merry Christmas 2025

 Merry Christmas 2025

Picture of Timmy 2023

      This Christmas was much harder being the 2nd Christmas without you.  It's been hard lately explaining my emotions and what is going on inside my head.  Last year, I was still numb.  We normally put the tree & yard decorations up after Thanksgiving. But, we finally got them put up this past weekend.   It was hard trying to figure out how i was going to provide presents for the family.  Some how it always works.   

My background on my phone 

     I was challenged by my therapist to change my back screen on my phone.  She wanted me to keep it up for the whole month of December.  So I chose the above picture of the Santa.  When I pulled my phone up, I noticed that it was Timmy.  I would go back to that today 

  I could picture him sitting in the chair beside the Christmas tree @ the daycare.   

     When we put up the tree & stockings it was hard not to see your stocking hanging up.  But with your 2 ornaments that I received from the funeral home, it was hard yo see them on the tree.  I will always continue to honor you with everything/ chance I get.  

Merry Christmas to everyone!  

Please continue to pray for us!