How do you ask for help?

How do you ask for help?

      As a widow, we are perceived to do everything by ourselves. But for someone who has always depended on other people to help you. It's really hard. I have always had trouble asking for help. Or for someone to help. How can you ask someone for help when you know they have their own lives to deal with?  

I will admit that I have amazing neighbors. I also have friends who have specific jobs that we need assistance with. But with those they are emergency issues. (Ie: when the basement flooded & the heater stopped working). However, I have trouble asking if someone can help me clean up around the outside of my house. I don't want to bother people with my problems that I should be able to do by myself. I would hire someone but going back to my last post, funds are very limited.   

I was always taught if you ask someone to help you. You should do something in return for them. (Ie: pay them or feed them).  

For me to be able to do cleaning or something around the house. I have to be in a mood. Or just turn on some music & just start cleaning. If I don't, I will just lay around in the bed or chair to watch TV or on my phone.  And when I do get started, I get it done.

Just saying!

Just saying!

 In my opinion, the average age of a widow has become much younger. The actual average age of a widow is 59 years old. I would have never thought of myself at the age of 45 to become a widow. This is definitely one big thing that no one tells you about when you lose a spouse. Is the financial issues you will have. With that being said, How many people think it is okay to say Widow’s have all the time in the world? I know of several different Widow’s and Widower's that are working 2 to 3 jobs to make ends meet. Yes, they have the support of the late Spouse's financial assistance. But, once that runs out. They wonder if they would be able to purchase food, pay attention bill or gas to go work. Take from someone who knows. It is really hard. You have this whole list of things you want to do. But you can't do it because it is not in your budget financially. When you do get money saved, then you try to get you bills caught up. Then you are back at it the next month. Then you are invited out with friends or to do something and you have to decline or say, “I am sorry, but i can't afford it right now!” I know that looks like I am a failure to me & all my friends that are there or who are going to attend will judge me.  

Individuals in America.

High Poverty Risk: With over 11 million widows in the US, and half of them living near the poverty line, they are considered an "invisible" group in homelessness data. 

This is hard for me to fathom. It's unbelievable that it is that many widows. I know some people are thinking that its not going to happen to me. But you never know.  

Please continue to say a prayer for all the Widow’s & Widower's that you know as they try to move forward with their everyday issues that they keep silent.   

 

Happy 2nd Heavenly birthday, Timmy!

 

Happy 2nd Heavenly birthday, Timmy!

          When it's a spouse's birthday, you always go out for it. Cake, balloons, gift & card. Or a routine out eating place. Well, when you have lost a spouse, you try to continue the same birthday traditions. But, it's hard to do that.  

     I also never imagined that March 11, 2024 would have been the last one. I also never imagined that I would be celebrating Timmy’s birthday without him. He was a big person celebrating birthdays- he really didn’t care about his on. It was always everyone else's. 

     With it being Timmy’s 2nd heavenly birthday, it's been hard. He would have been 48 this year. I will continue to honor his birthday by doing the same things that we always did. We will have cake. I will let Kaleb choose a balloon. We will probably eat at our 2 normal restaurants- Chick-fil-a & Mykonos.   

     I remember his 1st birthday, we celebrated together as a couple. We had a cake & a card. But at one point, financially it was really hard to get a cake & card. So we ended up getting a box cake & a homemade card. When we slowly got back on our feet, we were able to start going out to eat or on a day trip.  

Happy Heavenly Birthday, Timmy! I love you & miss you so much. 🎂🧁❤️🎇

 

Remembering Timmy

 Remembering Timmy 

     As I sit here at my niece Makenna's 4 year old birthday party.   I wonder how Timmy would handling all this.  In my mind, he would be right there playing with our nephew Leighton on all the games.   I sure do miss him.  

Auntie Shortie aka: Cree Cree, Makenna, Leighton & Uncle Timmy has a angel watching over us. 

2026

July 4 Fireworks 

Makenna & Timmy 

Leighton's birthday - 1st time Timmy held Makenna 

     With it being 23 months since I have heard your voice, walking in the door & playing games with Leighton & Kaleb if he was there.  Or playing games by yourself.  

23 months- 99.941 weeks 

23 months- 699.584 days

23 months- 16790.018 hours 

23 months- 1007401.1 minutes 

23 months- 60444066.2 seconds 

     I have experienced somethings for the 1st time & with me to understand it.  It is hard.  And when I reflect on it, sometimes I think if Timmy were here it would be better.   Or I want the so stressed out about it.   But its so hard to explain what is going on.  

     In a couple of weeks, we will be celebrating your heavenly birthday.  We will probably do our normal celebratory birthday dinner.   If we are able to do so. And if we are financially able to. I love you & I miss you.